Saturday, December 8, 2018

Preaching the Gospel to the Backseat (And My Heart)

Trying to drive with one hand on the wheel and one hand cradling a mug of coffee, I glanced in the rear-view mirror. There was a lot of yelling happening in the back seat and I could just distinguish a flying fist, a handful of hair, and something about a book. Ah, the Christmas books we had just lugged out, probably a fight over one of those. Still, I sighed. Today had been one of those days that inevitably comes but I am never prepared for. Last day of our first term's exam, my hope had been for it to be laid back and exciting, but with one car in the shop and Will needing to be picked up and taken here and there it had been a bit chaotic instead. The kids were in chronically low spirits (thus the early pulling of the Christmas books) and I had somehow managed to completely run out of diapers and forget to pick them up on all our outings that day.

So now here we were, trying to peaceably mesh a diaper run with coffee hour and failing.

I nestled my coffee into the cup holder and desperately gripped the steering wheel with two hands as I took a deep breath, steeling myself to shout for quiet if need be. Well the need certainly came, but the grace of God shouted louder into that moment then I ever could.

"Hey, don't you dare go saying that you hate your sister, that's the kind of thing Jesus had to die for."

Now, I'll be honest, the gospel is something that we talk about outside of conflict, but it rarely comes up in moments like this because I'm usually too irritated to go down that road, so it sort of took me aback. "Where did that come from..." And being that you can't tell a four year old something like this without an automatic response, "why?" came flying at me faster than I could gather my wits together.

"Well... because... well... you know... because..."

Clearly I have this parenting thing down pat. I did respond though, after a long pause at a red light and a hasty swig of coffee.

"Well, because. . . because. . . because God is so very good and clean. These naughty things we do made us too dirty to be near Him. The good news though, is that that's why Jesus came - to make us clean enough to be near Him again. But when we do these naughty things it's like hurting Him all over again. You know though, I guess it also reminds us that God is still so much greater and cleaner than us and how much we need Him."

Silence. But I was silent too, partially because I had no idea what was coming next and partially because I was stunned at this whole gospel exchange. The memory of God's love and what Jesus had done for us was a calming oil upon our turbulent waters. Sure, it lasted about ten minutes, but I think it was as much for me as for them, and my side of it stayed pretty fresh.

Most days make me feel like I'm a Moses caught between some Israelites and God, which probably sounds really lofty of me but I don't mean it that way at all. Complaining, bickering, dealing some justice, showing some mercy, giving some instructions, and generally handling clean up duty. I'm in a place of leadership that I don't feel I belong to, not because I don't love my people but more because I feel inadequate to the task. "How about Aaron, Lord?" I'm tempted to plead. Too easily I forget to open my eyes to the bushes around me that burn with the presence of God, take off my shoes, and just worship.

God is so good, sweet friends. I know that's said a lot, but He really is. How else would redemption be possible in even the quibbles and fist throwing of the every day if He were not? The gospel that He came to save and to make new offers hope in the most exasperating moments of the day. Why? Because regardless of how the world may be falling apart around us, we who are wrapped in the cloak of His steadfast love are not consumed, his mercies are that immense (Lam 3:22). So I can bless the Lord in even the brokenness of this failed coffee hour slash diaper run because it's not me - thank God - who takes up the brokenness and makes it whole, it's Him. Because of that hope that we call the gospel, I can turn to the backseat (and myself) and say, "Hey, we've messed this up, but guess what? Jesus is the wisdom, the righteousness, sanctification, and redemption that we aren't. Big words with much bigger thanks due."

I'll be honest with you, as I close out these thoughts it's a different day and a different tough moment just happened moments before I began typing. This time, I didn't remember anything remotely close to gospel hope until maybe 30 seconds ago. Am I disappointed I didn't seize the moment back there? Yeah. But sitting here and reviewing all this everyday gospel hope has me so much more grateful for the reminder to seize the hand of the Lord instead.

Because my God is a consuming fire (Heb 12:28-29), I can exchange these flammable emotions and moments for His unshakable kingdom. Because of Him, completely and totally because of His mercy, I need not be consumed with anything but Him.

Is this what is meant by "every moment holy?" Well then, excuse me while I take off my slippers and worship.

Sunday, July 29, 2018

A Wee Little Man, a Wee Little Mama, and a Savior Who Sees 'Em Both

"Zacchaeus was a wee little man and a wee little man was he...
he climbed up in a sycamore tree for the Lord he wanted to see..."

Lately I find myself singing these lines for my wee ones at least ten times a day, sometimes in a row and sometimes spread out over all the important moments of the day (meals, snacks, bathroom breaks, quiet time...). Whether it was genius or stupidity to break this old Sunday school song out over breakfast last week remains to be seen, but I'm guessing it's middling somewhere between the two. It is cute to see their little eyes glued to my lips while their own lips overemphasize the shape of the words, slightly off beat with their interpretive miming, of course.

Being the favored one that he is at the moment, it was no surprise to have Zacchaeus' song requested as the last hurrah before bedtime blessings tonight; what did come as a surprise however, was how potently the simple words struck me. Truth be told, today was one of those crap days were nothing went right, then I berated myself for nothing going right, and then our whole home atmosphere fell to such minuscule pieces that nothing could piece it back together by bedtime. It was (not at all) lovely. But as I sang the simply phrased story of Zacchaeus, I suddenly recognized myself right there with him.

". . . And as the Savior passed on by, He looked up in the tree...
and he said, 'Zacchaeus, you come down, for I'm coming to your house today..."

For a mama who's weakly propped in her proverbial tree straining hard to see Jesus over the host of bad attitudes (her own lumped in there) and un-cleaned dishes of who knows how many meals, this is the hallelujah moment.


Long after the bedtime blessing was sung, cold feet propped against my side, fingers tangled in my hair, and eyes fidgeting on the edge of actual sleep, I leaned more heavily into the headboard and popped open my phone to a half-read article - "My Biggest Mistake as a Mother." Perfect, just the thing for wrapping up the day - guilt and self-introspection.


"Trust the Lord and do good."

The words of Psalm 37:3 might as well have been in flashing neon letters. Now here was something that wee little me cringed at the backwardness my memory had served me in this command, and so, apparently, did the author:

"When I put doing good before trusting God, guilt dogged my mothering. If a toddler threw a tantrum, I thought, my discipline is not consistent enough. If my teenage was spiritually lethargic, I believed, my discipleship is not compelling enough. If my child feel behind, made a mistake, or sinned in any way, I berated myself, you're not helping them enough. . . .
When I put doing good before trusting God, fear stalked my mothering. I worried that my efforts would result in failure. I worried that my limitations would hold them back. I worried that my sins would scar them for life. I worried that my hopes and desires for my children would end in bitter disappointment."

Forgive my copious quoting but this, this right here was exactly why I was feeling all choked up about a silly kid song, why I was up my tree looking for Jesus. Defeat. Failure. Emotional and mental death by imperfection. Just typing that out makes me laugh, but it's a real thing and it's deadly.

The anecdote? The invitation straight from the lips of Jesus?


Just like the author of that beautiful article went on to say, the good in all this is that He is good and ever doing good; we can trust Him because He is trustworthy. I know this but most definitely forget to translate it out of the philosophical realm into the here and now.

I can trust the long seasons of no one sleeping through the night and our groggily making it through the days to Him, because He is trustworthy.

I can trust the picky wee ones who turn their nose up to all the healthful options to Him, because He is trustworthy.

I can trust the relationship between the little women in this home to Him (despite the biting, flailing, screaming, and locking of doors), because He is trustworthy.

I can trust all the heart convicting and faith building business in our home to Him, because He is trustworthy.

This was what I suppose could be a current day version of that hallelujah moment I mentioned earlier. No climbing tree too tall, no circumstances too small for Jesus who calls to those look for Him (even weary mamas), "... Come down, for I'm coming to your house today."

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Second Grade's Feast (Term One)

Well, it's been awhile since I've sat and allowed my fingers to fly over this old keyboard. The silence has been full though, very full.

In these few short months we finished up first grade with Lanna, sold a home and moved ourselves several states over, experienced two breathtaking seasonal changes here, settled ourselves into a new church home, widened our circle to include new friends and drew closer the dear people already there, filled the space around our table (and then some) many times over. . .

Silence hasn't exactly equaled stillness but I'm content here in the quiet, for I'm finding that things unnecessary are being hushed and things good strengthened in it. Living this quiet yet full life has somehow been the method of God's taking all the harsh dryness of these last couple of years and setting it ablaze with His goodness, despite the fact that I may be the lone pair of eyes seeing and singular voice wondering aloud over the splendor. He's a gracious one, this God of mine. Oh goodness, and this new home! I've fondly started calling it our Juniper Tree house after the memory of a dear place of rest in the middle of southeast Asia. Juniper, in case you're puzzling over that, is mentioned in some versions of the Bible as the tree that Elijah was resting beneath when he was ministered to by the Angel of the Lord. If only I could bring you all here to have a breath of the peace God has seemingly breathed into this little spot.

Anyway, what I really sat down to type out is our plans for second grade.

How odd it feels to say that. First grade was so anticipated that it wasn't really a surprise when it's time came, but second grade? It has more of the "whoa, we're really doing this" factor to it. Nonetheless exciting though.

I originally planned on just throwing up a few quick Instagram stories to share the books that we're using this year, but I wavered over that decision last moment and took a poll - blog post or stories? Blog post almost overwhelmingly won out, but for those who voted IG stories - Keep an eye out! I'll most likely highlight the books too. For reference, we're still using AmblesideOnline as our foundation - their book lists are solid and I'm a fan of the way they plotted out the history studies. As you'll see below, we just like to supplement and expand where we can, which I think is actually common for those who use AO.

As far as the format of the year, I adopted Charlotte Mason's practice of breaking it up into 3 terms of 12 weeks. Our state requires a certain number of days of attendance per school year (not uncommon), and 36 weeks fits that requirement perfectly. I did add an extra week at the very end of the year just in case we needed it, but even with that extra week the school still only runs from the last week of August to the end of May.

I can't tell you how much easier it is to plan this way, you guys! The wiggle room for adjustments that inevitably come up isn't a big deal anymore because it's already there, and the holiday breaks fall at great spots per term. You can see how I spaced the terms in the photo above - Term 1 in red, Term 2 in blue, Term 3 in green. So to clarify, I planned the general topics for the entire year, but only specifically so far for Term 1  - this post covers only that term (red, in case I lost ya already).

The AO plan for year 2 covers 1000 A.D. to the Middle Ages using Our Island Story, This Country of Ours, and A Child's History of the World as "spines" (the foundation, essentially. These are our meaty bones, we can add on from here though we don't necessarily have to because they're second to none as it is). The beauty of the AO plan is that the reading is already all plotted out, weaving these three together into one narrative of that period of time we're studying rather than three separate narratives that we have piece together. Generally, even though we have this thorough story happening with multiple books, we're still only reading 2-3 chapters per week. Not bad. That's only two days of history studies, really (the chapters are not long). I'm wanting three days so there isn't so much time between readings, so I snatched Robin Hood from the literary pile and added it here instead. At one chapter or so per week of that title, I now have three days of history, voila. And all I really had to do was buy the books, I'm already off to a good start.

The only other thing I'll mention here is a timeline because I know we're definitely going to do one for the sake of a visual of how the centuries neatly roll out and where people we're reading about belong in them (more on that right here). I'm still weighing the options but I do know that we're going to use a condensed version of the one we all probably picture in our minds (the room-wrapping kind). I might print a column version and put it in Alanna's binder (like so), or do something more along the Riverbend press version and hang it on the wall (as seen here), or bank on the familiarity of the "hundreds chart" version (isn't it interesting?). I'll get back to you in Term 2 with what we decided on that.

Again, I'm leaning heavily on AO here, but similar to last year, we're choosing classics that I really want to read together. The Children's Story Bible and Poetry book are on a daily rotation, but otherwise, to make it simple, I have one book for each major school day of the week (Monday - Thursday). Essentially, Pilgrims Progress for Monday, Parables from Nature for Tuesday, Beautiful Stories from Shakespeare for Wednesday, and A Wonder-book for Girls and Boys for Thursday. They're stacked in this order so that any given day I just have to grab the first within reach then stick it on the bottom, repeat. I arranged our books like this last year in a moment of inspiration brought on by the Morning Basket loop schedule that everyone seems to like a bunch, and it was so nice! I wasn't constantly referring back to my list and asking, "which are we supposed to read today?..." and we were still feasting on a mass variety every week.

A note about Shakespeare - I recently found out that a local theatre group here puts on Shakespeare in
the Park events. I fully intend on taking advantage of these and corresponding the plays we read with those that we manage to attend. This will be our first year with Shakespeare and actually seeing the plays seems like an amazing beginning. I'm still working on how we'll handle character confusion, which I hear is the most common trouble (maybe family trees?)

Free reads/ Language Arts, reading:
You knew I wasn't going to neglect these, right? I have a whole basket pulled from both AO and my shelf in general, but I had Alanna help me choose just two as a start for this term. Without much of pause, she handed me Brighty of Grand Canyon and Heidi. These end up being the books we enjoy as a family, reaching for when we're cozy on the couch together or going through the bedtime thing. 

Now Alanna did progress to short chapter books last year, and her reading abilities are kind of amazing (small print, close lines already, kid? Sheesh), but I'm still looking to keep it simple for her this year by focusing on building enjoyment in reading alongside her literacy. We went through a lot of readers last year, but found this cute Sophie Mouse series toward the end. It's simple, sweet, has plenty of titles to keep a new reader busy, and I wouldn't consider it twaddle any more than I would consider Little Bear or Frog and Toad so. If we run out of steam there, I have the Fairchild Family and Cobblestreet Cousins as backups. 

We started with Singapore last year and I wasn't impressed, plus I had it from my family and friends who've used it into the upper grades that it gets ridiculously difficult and hard to understand down the road. No thanks. So we switched barely before we began and I'm glad we did because it had me researching the topic of math all year. Math Lessons for a Living Education came in at just the right time and ended up being our "math spine." It was pretty good and made for a pleasant starting line in math, which is a good thing in my book. The story that runs through it can be helpful for visualizing tough concepts and it is a fun way of handling math for students who just don't enjoy it, but we do like math here so toward the middle of the year I ended up leaning more heavily on the concepts from Simply Charlotte Mason's Math instruction. I wish their Elementary Arithmetic had come out sooner, it's a really amazing curriculum that is so thorough yet gentle, but that's okay because I'm banking on the next in the series which should be released later this year and will last for the next couple of grades. To bide our time, we're using Book 2 of Math Lessons for a Living Education and working out the problems on oversized graph paper rather than the worksheets. 

We're also continuing with our adopted practice of a little daily "mental math" (word problems worked out orally) in each lesson. We used Ray's Primary Arithmetic last year for this, and are adding Strayer-Upton this year. Basically, this just looks like 2-5 word problems read aloud and worked out mentally. It's a game changer, trust me. For Fridays (which tend to be our more relaxed days), I'm using games from the Kate Snow series (subtraction and possibly multiplication this year, but she has others). They make for a nice break in the routine and pleasantly wrap-up the week. The women, who is coincidentally a homeschool mother and math teacher, knows her stuff.

We left off handwriting practice in a place of block letters and puzzling out where periods and capitols go, so rather than practicing the form of lettering this year, the focus lies more in neatness and proficiency. Essentially, just writing practice. Armed with erasable pens, notebooks, and the CM concept of "copy work" this is exactly what we're doing. 

AO has a seasonal poetry anthology for early years, so one day I just scrolled through and chose 2 or 3 poems per school month, plopped them into a document, and printed out the whole kit and caboodle to stick in my binder. When we start, Lanna will have one poem at a time and can copy out 2-4 lines in her special copywork notebook. At the end of the week, I take a look at it for neatness and basic punctuation, pointing out lines that can be redone (rare after the first correction, no one wants to redo) or pointing out some new aspect of punctuation she had to use. We did this for a short time after finishing a handwriting book last year and it worked well, especially the whole idea of copying real sentences rather than lone words or letters (necessary for a good foundation, but after that? Tedious stuff).

Nature Studies:
This is a subject I really want to bank on this year, what with our new environment and so much wildlife around us. I followed ideas gathered from A Delectable Education Podcast and Sabbath Mood Homeschool resources and am looking mostly to lay a foundation of curiosity, wonder, observation skills, and humility in these early years. A tall order but attainable with a whole lot of patience, diligence, and grace, I think. Since our homeschooling neighbors are up for joining in the fun here (hallelujah hands), we're going to use Exploring Nature With Children together once a week. I wanted to use this little handbook last year but am so glad I waited. If I'm not mistaken, the idea underlying it is to explore the change of seasons through observation, dive deeper with literature, and pay note to the little details that strike wonder. 

Besides the once a week thing, we're adding nature lore readings to our stacks, and to keep things interesting the theme there will change every term. This term we're leveling our eyes toward the birds, and as you can see, we have some Audubon things and field guide things, as well as the Burgess Bird Book on Librivox audio

Need I even mention Nature Journals? Yes, I probably should. We are keeping nature journals this year (yes, I am too), but swapping out the structured "this is nature journal time" for "please make at least two entries a week of things you observed on your own and we'll share together" format. I'll probably try to add in some things to encourage this, like a trip to our local Audubon center and the odd nature hike here and there. Regardless, we'll see how it goes, I have an inkling that this is something we're going to adjust and grow in a lot this year.

This is something we added to our first year plans at the last moment and were pleasantly surprised over how easy and enjoyable it's was. Literally as simple as pulling out a US map, pointing out the states we already know, then adding a new one. Painless. I'm focusing on the US first, by the way, because taking the walls of the world our students live in and pushing them out slowly and steadily makes sense to me. I can't remember where I read that specifically. . . probably one of the CM volumes.

We also did the AO suggestion of mapping out Paddle to the Sea by Holling and had a lot of fun with that, but we did start our mapping too late so it was a little troublesome. I won't be making that mistake with Tree in the Trail and The Book of Cowboys this year. All the books you see between the two I mentioned are titles I had already snatched from book sales here and there and have particular portions marked off to give richness to what we'll be covering in Tree in the Trail and The Cowboy book. 

I know composer studies are traditional in CM homeschooling, but the people who create music are only one side of the coin and I have this lurking suspicion that it's impossible to appreciate what they've done without having some understanding of it. Something like. . . when you take a wee one to see a painting, "look how beautiful, little one!" "Oh, it's fantastic!" they say. And it is, because maybe they appreciate the beauty and maybe know a little of the master who made it, but really they have no idea what it is, no context to measure it against or vocabulary to appreciate it, so their marvel is trapped there.

That's essentially where we're picking up this year.

About the only thing we did musically last year was listen to the Nutcracker and Can You Hear It. Literally, listened to them for months upon months. My comfort there is that little ears were gaining the patience and intricacy of truly hearing, but still, I know more direction than that is needed. Enter Alice in Orchestralia and the Intro to Classics audio series. The former I snatched from a favorite bookseller and it's essentially Alice in wonderland... but exploring instruments and their sounds. Brilliant, right? I'm super excited about that one (which we'll tackle at the rate of roughly a chapter a week). Listen to the Birds is just what its title describes, listening to birds... from various musical pieces and composers. Talk about a delightful way to train the ear! Birds is just the beginning of the series, there's also amazing water and legends and talesWe'll work our way through those slowly, always narrating of course (ie: "Tell me the instruments you hear. Draw what you hear.")

Has anyone read A Touch of the Infinite by Hoyt, yet? No? I raved about it all over Instagram and can't help but have a little of that spill into this post - if you get one book to help increase richness in your school year, make it this one. Aside from a little listening, the odd Opal Wheeler book, and maybe instrumental lessons, music is such an un-mined subject.

All the logic of what I mentioned about music can probably be applied here too, but I know a precious little and have less a passion for it. Still, that doesn't mean I get to neglect it, so I called in the help of the "Every Child Should Know" series. 

You guys, I didn't realize how great this series is until I was paging through and choosing art pieces to feature this term. We're talking 48 masterpieces with a small, "living" chapter about the artist, a few interesting things to note about the featured painting, and 4 - 8 more to look up from said artist. It's art appreciation that can pretty nearly last all 12 school years condensed into one little book. Anyway, since I have this gorgeous oversize art book (another book sale find), I decided to choose 6 separate masterpieces whose artist's blurb was also in Pictures Every Child Should Know. Next year I'll do the more focused study of one artist per term, but since I already had the oversize book of plates and I'm mostly looking to develop "our eyes to see," so to speak, this seemed to fit the bill for now.

Picture study is something we did on and off last year and really enjoyed, I just wasn't consistent so it tapered off around Christmas break. Essentially, each picture had two weeks of study. Out the picture would come on "art day" to be propped on the table, then we would look at it as closely as we could for a few moments, take it away and try to describe it (mental picture), then look at it again. The picture was then propped up in a place of honor on the piano (where we could see it every day) and we would read a little about the artist. The following week we would pull out the picture to be propped on the table yet again and we would try to replicate it with whatever Lanna had an interest in using to do so - pencils, watercolor, crayons, paints, etc. Let me remind you too, this is all just one day out of the week. Pretty simple stuff, but nonetheless good.

Drawing is something that ties in with almost every other subject whether it be by drawing narrations for history or what we're hearing in music studies, noting our observations in a nature journal or replicating for our picture studies, etc. Given this overlap, drawing isn't something that I haven't specifically planned serious studying for, it's just something we do. Still, I try to have some "helps" to encourage it.

I really can't remember what I had last year, but this year I picked up Drawing Made Easy, Drawing Cute Birds, and Laws Guide to Nature Drawing and Journaling (not pictured). These go in a basket on the table with paper and art supplies - an open invitation, you could say.

Foreign Language:
I think I might be crazy, friends. I've tossed and turned this one over in my mind agonizing first whether to even study languages yet, which language to study, then why said languages would be good to study right now. . .  but I always come back to this crazy idea I've had all along though, so I think I'm just going to accept it as inspiration from the Lord Himself and go with it. 

Rather than choosing a readily available language out there like German or French or Spanish, I think we're going to shoot for Sgaw Karen.

Told you it was a little bit crazy. And if you're wondering why there is no photo to accompany this plan that would be because I'm still working out how we'll go about doing it - some mixture of Youtube, Drum publications, and finding a Karen family willing to teach us, most likely (we "happen" to have a whole community of them near us now). I'm going to be spending a lot of time studying Celeste's experience with Italian before developing a real plan though.

Other Details:
Aren't these nifty? Someone on the AO forum took the time to turn all the reading schedules there into bookmarks then was kind enough to share them. So grateful to whomever it was who did that, we're definitely using them.

The other little items up there are checklists. Well, tickets, more specifically. I'm trying to encourage diligence and cut back on the amount of nagging that getting things done around here requires, thus free time tickets. Finish off the things and turn in your ticket for free time, simple as that. But wait, that's not all - finish the items on your weekly ticket (mostly new things we're adding this year that I anticipate feet dragging over) and turn it in for your weekend treat. 

Now I would much rather just motivate with "do it because it's your responsibility and thus right for you to do," but that's not going to fly. So, the responsibility before pleasure route it is. 

(The general idea for this as well as the templates for both types of tickets are from Brandy over at Afterthoughts blog)

Last but not least, this is the planner that I'm using this year. I can handle change and flexibility pretty well (or maybe that's just in my mind, who knows), but I still have to have an organized plan to begin with. Using a regular school planner last year worked alright, but I so appreciate that Diana took the time to create a planner that's simple, beautiful, affordable, and organized by term. I personally didn't need all the pages, so I just printed off what I needed (sometimes multiple copies) and shuffled it all into a binder in the same order that my brain has the year sorted it out. 

I'm sure I'm forgetting things here and there, but that's the gist of second grade's feast for us. As I mentioned before, I'll try to put up some IG stories highlighting just the books for this term and why I chose a few particular editions (I drool over that kind of thing). Do share your own plans as well, and feel free to bounce ideas with me, I very much enjoy chatting this type of thing.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

Cosmos, Providence, and a Liturgical Rabbit Hole (Easter Stories By LeBlanc)

Note: While this post is not directly sponsored by any company or organization, it does contain affiliate links in connection with Amazon dot com. I appreciate when you use these links to browse or buy, but please know that I try to only provide links for that which I find enriching, challenging and/or encouraging in the hope that you find the same.

Isn't it fascinating how when Lenten slash Easter season rolls around, Creation seems completely aware of it?

Some people wave off the odd or providential things in life as "the universe orchestrating this or that" or "God at work in doing this or that." Lately though, I'm inclined to wonder if it falls somewhere squarely (or not so squarely) between the two. Perhaps the invisible pulse of life that keeps planets spinning and star dust winking and the glory and repose of seasons in motion and people breathing... perhaps it's just remembering and giving glory where glory's due.

We're in the midst of a massive sell-and-move, so the things we usually do around this time of year haven't happened. None of the usual stack of seasonal books, no reflective Lent, no big celebratory plans for Easter. Yet somehow, we haven't missed any of it. While we've been distracted in the journey at hand, every bump, bend, and stretch in the road has manifested and proclaimed the season anyway.

I admit, this isn't something I picked up on right away. It was somewhere in the middle of painting baseboards and packing boxes, when I forced myself to stop and pick up Easter Stories: Classic Tales for the Holy Season that I finally started to glimpse glory. With the girls amusing themselves in a fort of pillows and the house lying somewhere between show house and old house, that "squarely in the middle" place opened up and sucked me in.

There, I walked with a rag man who took the rags of all he met in exchange for his goods and his wholeness.
I listened to Tolstoy speak in low tones of two old friends who share an old vow of pilgrimage together, part at a crossroads - this way to walk the literal steps of Jesus, that way to take up the cross and follow in faith.
I watched both a justice of the peace lose his reputation (and likely his job) due to an act of love toward a people despairing, and children place their threadbare belongings on the alter of hope to see them return as more than enough.
I was knocked over by the entrance of Rachoff: "Reader, behold your hand. . . . It can bless or curse. It can draw blood or bind a wound. . . It can weld an iron bridge or caress a child's head. It posseses power to both harm and heal." 

I'm falling down a rabbit hole here. I suppose what I'm getting at is that squarely between the immortal greatness of God and mortal creation is something we forget. Something that brainy people theorize, artists seem to know, and so many great stories and legends like those in Easter Stories whisper: The universe is singing. Been singing from the beginning, in fact, and all life seems to dance to the song.

Fascinating, isn't it? That the order and motion of the universe doesn't just participate in liturgical praise of the the Creator, it is liturgy. But it's not a fantastical idea either, possibly because it's so obviously true? Even when our mouths fail to worship, the pulse and breath of life itself carries on anyway - the rocks cry out and the heavens declare and all that.

Long past tossing the book back into my [ahem, untouched] stack and moving along with the business at hand, I've been equally comforted and challenged by this reflection. Only the true God could orchestrate such majestic mystery as the dry bones of our days rising up to rattle praise -

"Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!"

Strictly The Details (for people who like that sort of thing):

What it's called - Easter Stories: Classic Tales for the Easter Season (Compiled by Miriam LeBlanc) 

What it is -  A collection of 20-something short stories and legends that provoke a sense of longing and wonder toward the Easter truths.

Why it's worth the time and money - Partially literary merit and partially soul enrichment. These are authors with ability to plumb the depths, so to speak. We're talking Oscar Wilde, Tolstoy, the Brothers Grimm, C.S. Lewis, Elizabeth Goudge. . . . it's a great collection.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Notebooking, Slow Reading, And Seeing Glory

A new year with a clean page . . .  sort of relieving for no reason in particular, isn't it? Beginnings of any shape or size hold so much hope and promise. This beginning in particular always brings me back to that soul in Lamentations 3 that looks up and over a sea of trouble to the horizon where he knows the dawn will come, for the Lord's lovingkindnesses never cease, His compassions never fail, they are new every morning; (here comes the kicker) GREAT IS HIS FAITHFULNESS.

That's where I am right now. For us, 2018 holds a lot in the way of big decisions, change, and the need for wisdom, but for the moment my anxious eyes are lifted above and ahead to the promise that God is faithful. It'll likely be different than how I imagine it, but His faithfulness will still be true and that steadies me. It's pretty much the only resolution I'm bent on keeping - to keep looking there, keep walking that way. But I'm making the year sound a bit ominous, aren't I? I guess what I mean is just that I'm grateful there's a portion for me in the hope of God, and that it fills up the space that worry would otherwise hold.

On a lighter note, I do have some new things I'm using January as a starting point for:

One is notebooking.

Charlotte Mason can be blamed for this. I came across her method of notebooking (beyond just nature journals) in her writings and was looking into it a la Laurie BestvaterLogistics you know, how and why and all that. All I can say is "oh man." Sometimes God speaks in unexpected places through unexpected people, and let me assure you, even there His Word is alive and well, cutting right on through bone and marrow. Here I was innocently looking to learn how to better teach my kids and instead I'm coming away with the awareness that I'm better learning how to live.

I've come across this concept of "beholding glory" in my reading all year (well, last year), but Bestvater's faint nod to Moses and the burning bush really bookended it all. I found myself limply holding her book while staring at the wall mumbling, "She's right, he saw and recognized the thing because he was paying attention." And that's what shook me - the chance to see God's glory here in the world is going to pass me by if I'm not practicing the discipline of recognizing it. But as Bestvater eloquently points out, "if we are going to 'know glory' we are going to have to be specific and have a relationship to that particular burning bush with our particular feet and without our particular shoes."

Thus enters the notebook. It's a way of learning how to wrestle with truth like Jacob wrestled with God, to grab the hem of his robe and beg for the blessing. There's so much more to it, but do you see the strain of thought? I'm aiming to make it a way of life. I'm so stoked about this that we're swapping things around to use this notebooking thing in our schooling too, but that's another post for another day.

Another thing I'm trying is slow reading.

I know, it's kind of odd, but it goes hand in hand with the notebooking. If I linger a bit then I can go deeper to mine the nuggets, or otherwise put, recognize the glory. To keep myself accountable (because darned if I won't habitually speed through a newly dubbed 35 zone), I worked out a loop system with the meatier of the two stacks of books on my dresser. It works like so: Pick a book off the top, read a bit, stick it on the bottom, repeat. The second of the two stacks is for me to zip through at whatever pace (because I need a little of both). A few days in and so far, so good.

Social media presence is the only other thing I'm eyeing right now, but that's sort of a trend. Already being wary, I happened to read this terrifying thing a couple months ago, and immediately hightailed it. Sure, I've read a lot of things about the dangers of social media and technology in general, but when you have a top dog in the business saying, "yep, our business plan is basically to exploit your humanity and consume as much of your time as possible." Um. . . .

I don't know what the right answer is though, I just sort of wish we could have the days of hallooing neighbors from the front step again. But anyhow, all this coupled with the fact that my highly visual self appears to be easily overstimulated by screens has me moving them to the weekend and swapping over my Instagram account to the role of "visual companion" to this blog. That to say, if you contact me there, don't expect a quick reply.

And yes, I just admitted to having the same screen problem as my little ones, you have my full permission to have a good laugh.

Any new things you are trying or looking forward to this year?

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Sabbath, Book Stacks, And What Hospitality REALLY Might Be

I had anticipated a fuller, messier day today but am pleasantly surprised to find myself seated here at the kitchen table with nothing particularly pressing for the moment. I admit though, these moments of allowing a posture of chin in still palms, staring at the scratches and crayon marks beneath my elbows, and thinking is the sort of posture that has grown more precious to me these days. I crave them with something deeper than my introverted quirks or that basic (and somewhat annoying) human need for rest. Oddly, though the physical stillness is nice that's the lesser of the appeal to me, it's the stillness of heart I crave.

Dare I say. . . Sabbath of heart?

In these pauses, I'm given time to digest the feast of ideas I try to keep on the table (books, conversation, etc) and retain the nutrition of all that's good and true and beautiful in them. It's here in the stillness that I can wrestle with the consistent chaos around me and see Truth reflected there, taking time to sincerely worship the God of Truth from whom these things come and can lead right back to (though we rarely follow them that far).

Put another way: This stillness is my chance to practice for the real feast, the forever feast.

Maybe this is why I've felt more thoughtful lately, eager for new stacks of literature and person to person relationships - I know that my ignorance only sees a tiny section of the table, but scripture and the rich conversations of community (sometimes also called fellowship, I think) both literary and real, new and ancient offer a much greater perspective. But goodness, even the small quantities I've had the chance to nibble on have been enough to nourish so much already. And unexpected things! We've had a heavy tide of visiting friends and family these last few months, so hospitality has been sort of a way of life lately - one I thought I knew something of but a more practice and this discovery of stillness have taught me that I'm woefully mistaken about.

Hospitality carries a certain weight of responsibility, you know? To feed, make comfortable, and delight whoever I'm entertaining. This isn't bad of course, no matter what way I look at it there's a little of that aesthetic that ought to be there, and it's a joy to plan all that out. But is that all? Am I doomed along with Martha to just aimlessly fill my tea pot while taping Pinterest ideals over something deeper, more important? This is where the stillness thing has stepped in.

I may be wrong, but I think hospitality might be about sharing sabbath of heart.

It's a hard thing to do. Harder, I think, than having a logistical plan. I still struggle with understanding what this looks like and how it might work in real time. But what would change if I, we, viewed hospitality this way? Toward our friends, our family, our children, our husband. . . what if we shared sabbath of heart, however that works, and feasted not just on physical food but on soul food? What if we practiced for the real feast, the forever feast, not just on our own but together?

I wonder if it might look something like it did in those first formative days of the church:

"Day by day, continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart." (Acts 2:46)

Beautiful, right? However this is done, it can't be done without Jesus - I can at least say that with complete assurance. Good golly, what reason is there without Him? But I'm getting long-winded now, so I close this out with a prayer that each of our tables (yes, mine too) might hold a little of this stillness, this sabbath, this celebration as we all delight in Him who is rest and who gathers us together at His table... or rather, someday will.

Friday, December 22, 2017

Book Stacks - Christmas Edition

In solidarity with many of you, my friends, I've spent the better part of this week knee deep in wrapping paper and gifts. As chaotic as it sometimes is, it is a satisfying thing to see all these cheerful bundles lined up and waiting for their moment to offer the love and thoughts poured into them. Regardless of whether they get tossed aside for the next one, at least those more important things are there in the offering, that's enough for me.

Per usual, the greater part of the lineup is book shaped. I can't help myself there, I just can't imagine giving a better gift than a book - it's like a two for one with a story to fuel your delight and ideas to feed your soul. But I digress, I'm mentioning this because I thought it might be fun to share what's there. Or at least, what's there for the girls (no, my dear sisters, you'll not be getting a peek at yours here. Move along.).

For Wrennie bird (1):

Fancy Nancy Fashionista Coloring Book - The nonsense, fun thing
Out and About: A First Book of Poems - We love Shirley Hughes! Her illustrations are so quaint and warm, and the stories true to life (one about a lost stuffie is a particular favorite around here). I put a peek into this particular book below so you can see what I mean.
Heroes For Young Readers: Lottie Moon - Familiarizing the girls with people who have walked the path of faith before us is massively important to me. We've been enjoying the Little Lights series, but I've been looking for some missionary biographies that fall somewhere between those and the Trailblazer series. I have high hopes that these books are just that. I know it's a bit old for Wren, but it is poetry. . .
Eloise Wilkin Stories
Nutshell Library (not pictured) - This is my "taking a chance" set for Wren that I got partially because Celeste recommended them and partially because of their size (we love little books).

As promised, here's a peek into the Shirley Hughes book:

For Selah (3):

Fancy Nancy Drawing and Doodling Book
Fancy Nancy: Tea Parties - As you can see, Fancy Nancy is our Twaddle of choice.
Heroes For Young Readers: Jim Elliot
Tasha Tudor's Doll Christmas - If you don't know of Tasha Tudor, you're missing out on so much goodness. Her illustrations and stories are so gorgeous that I spent years, years, looking for a single book we had once borrowed from the library when I was a tiny thing (Becky's Birthday). We love all her books, but A Is For Annabelle and 1 Is One have been in the rotation often lately.
Mud Pies and Other Recipes - As everyone here is big on the bits-and-bobs type of recipes, I think this little vintage beauty will be a hit. You'll find a peek into this one just below because I'm not sure how to summarize it.

For Lanna (6):

See and Sew: A Sewing Book For Children - Because we're dipping our hands into handicrafts a la Charlotte Mason and starting somewhere that she's interested. I had a hard time finding some solid previews for the content in this one, so I put a couple below. This will be paired with a beginners sewing kit, though I probably would have gone for this or this if I had seen them sooner.
Marguerite Makes a Book - Partially because making little books is a common activity around here and partially because this corresponds to what we'll be studying in history next year. Two for one.
The Chronicles of Narnia Official Coloring Book
Heroes For Young Readers: C.S. Lewis
Alice's Adventures In Wonderland (not pictured) - This was on my to-get list for a long time but not high up there because I had some ideals for the illustrations - a style that brought out the whimsical innocence of Wonderland rather than highlighting its neon weirdness. I think I've finally found this in Helen Oxenbury's illustrations (I hope).

A peek into the sewing book:

And because I'm appreciating this selection so much, here's my holiday reading:

I'll be honest, I mostly bought this book because it has a short by one of my all time favorite authors, Elizabeth Goudge. I figured, anyone who has the good sense to choose a Goudge story can probably be trusted with the rest of the selection. I'm happy to find this true. Now how to summarize the thing . . . holy? I walk away from each reading filled with wonder at a God who laid aside His greatness to wrap Himself in the smallness of us just to make everything right again, to lovingly draw His creation nearer to the reality of what it is meant to be. In these literary shorts is both the reminder that He is still with us (though in more of a whisper) and a longing for that day when He'll come again (with a shout). It is an orthodox based book so it probably wouldn't appeal to everyone, but I love it and recklessly recommend the thing regardless of anyone's theological particulars.

The selection (bookmark is from Carrot Top Shop, by the way):

Posting this with a prayer that in all the Christmas festivities (yes, even the gift getting and giving) that the greatest Gift given and the hope that still comes of it [Him] will shine through it all.

Merry Christmas!